The Silent Killer: Comparison

In commercial real estate and society in general, we are inundated with social media feeds flaunting polished lives and glittering successes. Linkedin bios that read, “she has 3500 doors or he has 100 million in assets under management.  it's all too easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Whether it's comparing our achievements, possessions, relationships, or even appearances, the habit of sizing ourselves up against others can be insidious, gnawing away at our self-esteem and contentment.

I am currently reading Do the New You by Steven Furtick and he says, “Comparison is a killer. It’s a liar. It’s a thief. It steals your confidence and joy in who you are by telling you that because  you have less than someone else or do less than someone else, you are less.” .

Comparison is a double-edged sword, capable of both motivating and demoralizing us. While healthy competition can spur personal growth and achievement, incessant comparison breeds a toxic mindset characterized by envy, resentment, and self-doubt.

Comparison breeds a scarcity mindset, convincing us that there's not enough success, love, or happiness to go around. We view life as a zero-sum game, where someone else's gain is our loss, fostering a culture of competitiveness and comparison rather than collaboration and support.

Breaking Free from the Comparison Trap

Escaping the grip of comparison requires a conscious effort to cultivate self-awareness, self-compassion, and gratitude. Here are some strategies to counteract the pernicious effects of comparison:

1. Practice Gratitude: Shift your focus from what you lack to what you have by cultivating a daily gratitude practice. Recognize and appreciate the blessings in your life, no matter how small, fostering a sense of abundance and contentment.
2. Embrace Authenticity: Resist the temptation to portray a polished facade and embrace your authentic self, flaws and all. Recognize that everyone experiences setbacks and struggles, and vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness.
3. Set Meaningful Goals: Instead of chasing arbitrary benchmarks set by others, define your own metrics of success based on your values and aspirations. Set realistic, achievable goals that align with your passions and purpose, focusing on progress rather than perfection.
4. Limit Social Media Consumption: Take a hiatus from social media or curate your feeds to include positive, uplifting content that inspires rather than demoralizes. Remember that social media is a highlight reel, not an accurate representation of reality.
5. Cultivate Compassion: Practice self-compassion and empathy towards others, recognizing that everyone is on their own unique journey facing their own challenges and insecurities. Celebrate others' successes without diminishing your own worth.

Comparison is indeed a silent killer, eroding our self-esteem and robbing us of joy and fulfillment. By embracing authenticity, gratitude, and self-compassion, we can break free from the comparison trap and embrace our individuality with confidence and resilience. Remember, the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday—focus on your growth and journey, and let go of the need for external validation.

Stay Wise! 

Dedee